The Mindspace of Paul Scrivens

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Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:39:26 -0700

Mom

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 11:03:56 -0800

When I was very young I was a momma’s boy. I wasn’t whiney or cried or anything like that, but my mom was my best friend. We talked a lot because all I did was go outside and play, so sharing my adventures was always fun. She let me know it was fun to share your life with the world.

When I wanted a Nintendo, she got me a computer. I hated that decision, but in hindsight it was brilliant. I could’ve been sitting in front of a TV playing video games throughout my youth. Instead I was still going outside and enjoying life because there wasn’t much you could do with a computer back then if you weren’t into programming. It planted the seed for my love of computers.

When I was sitting on my ass doing nothing, she gave me the ultimatum of doing karate or playing soccer and I chose soccer. Now I can’t imagine my life without the sport.

She always tried to make me read books because she loved to read them herself. I hated to read, but none of the reasons had to do because of the books. I hated that I read slow (or what I thought was slow). I wanted to breeze through books the way one can breeze through a television show. I also didn’t want to read because it felt like a chore. Eventually when she stopped making me read I began to read a lot on my own. We always had a ton of books at our place and because her interests varied, so did mine. I eventually settled on Fantasy as my genre of choice. She prevented me from being stupid.

Most importantly though she held me accountable for my actions. Due to my ego and thinking I was the greatest thing ever, if something went wrong it wasn’t my fault in my mind. She didn’t accept that attitude. When my grades suffered due to my laziness, she always tried to get me back on track because she wanted my future to be bright. Thankfully, I pulled my head out of my ass and got everything together.

When I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life and experimented with a lot of different online ventures, she always offered words of encouragement. She follows me around online and takes an interest in whatever I do, even if she doesn’t always understand it.

There was a long stretch where I was a lot of things towards her that she never raised me to be. An asshole, a brat, a douchebag. She never deserved it and if I could go back in time I would kick the shit out of myself for every time I disrespected her.

She shaped me and did everything right to raise me. She gave me the keys and allowed me to choose which door I wanted to open to live my life, but also making sure that I didn’t lock myself out in case I changed my mind.

Now she makes me laugh because she is a geek. She makes me smile because her love is constant. She makes me worry because I want to be the one to take care of her. She makes me roll my eyes because she is a Manchester United fan. At times she leaves me frustrated, but isn’t that what parents do? At the end of the day though she is awesome.

Happy birthday, Mom. I love you so much. Always know you did well. Thanks for helping me not become a screw-up. I’m sure the Cowboys will do better next year.

Karma

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 11:28:29 -0800

I use to often wonder why people that do bad things always seem to get ahead. The answer is pretty obvious: they are willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead. Nice people can make it to the top, but that is usually a longer path. I know a lot of us will say that the bad people who climb and scheme their way to the top will have what is coming to them, but do we say that because we don’t follow the same actions?

Does an ant have bad karma when you happen to step on it while walking down the sidewalk? What about the rabbit that is minding its own business and suddenly gets scooped up by a hawk? When bad people get cancer we call it karma. When good people get cancer we ask what did they do to deserve it? Maybe the real answer is that nobody deserves it because there is no scoreboard.

If you do a lot of bad stuff to get to the top and end up getting caught, maybe that isn’t karma. Maybe there was just a paper trail long enough that eventually someone would catch you. We like to say that we control our own fates and then turn around and believe that karma (or whatever else) has some control over our path.

By no means am I saying you should go out and do the bad things that may lead to a shortcut in getting to where you want to be. However, don’t sit back thinking someone has something coming to them because often times they don’t and if something does happen to them that is just the way it is.

Are our lives really that different from the ant and rabbit? Just because we have a conscious and can think with a bit more complexity does that mean our lives work differently from any other creature? I know many of us hope so, but that is only because we were given too much power in our heads to think of such things. There are some things we can control and other things we can’t.

I’m not really going anywhere with this post, just something I was thinking about the other day.

If you have the power to corrupt, you will corrupt.

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 15:01:27 -0800

If you have the power to corrupt, you will corrupt.

"If you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to help them build theirs."

Sat, 12 Jan 2013 12:11:48 -0800

“If you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to help them build theirs.”

- Tony Gaskins

Happiness

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 06:31:59 -0800

People get nervous when I’m quiet. They think that something is wrong, usually because I’m the loudest person in the room demanding the spotlight. Most of the time I’m just in deep thought. Other times I just like to sit back and observe. Are there times that I’m ever unhappy? Of course there are. That is just part of human nature. I have to go through tiny amounts of rage and sadness to understand what happiness is all about.

When it comes to living a life you enjoy I think it is important to understand what makes you happy. Too often people are quick to say things like money, a nice house, a well-paying job or some other superficial thing. While these aren’t the root causes of happiness they can help take away the things that make you unhappy allowing you to focus on the stuff that will make you happy. Money isn’t everything they say, but those people probably haven’t been in the gutter struggling to gather enough cash to eat for the day. In situations like that, money will lead to happiness because being able to eat makes you very happy.

Having money’s not everything, not having it is.

Kanye West

When it comes to relationships, men can be pretty weird. When we are single we think life is good except for those times we get a bit lonely. When we find a companion life is good except for those times we wish we had the freedom of being single. I’ve been through those phases and one day it finally hit me that having a companion led to more moments of happiness than being by myself. Once I came to understand that it made my life just a little bit easier.

When it comes to working I am going to be good at whatever job I do. Putting out crap work is something that I have come to hate (but something I might have been known for in the past). However, I know my happiest state is when I’m working on something of my own creation, not something that I am being paid for. I think the majority of people reading this follow this sentiment. That means we all should go out and start our own businesses right? Not at all. Will you be at your happiest sacrificing a part of your day so you have the freedom to do what you want the other part of the day without the worries of having money to pay your bills? Some people are and some people aren’t. I’m fortunate to see how both sides of the fence look and they both have provided moments of happiness and rage. It comes down to deciding which side will provide me more moments of happiness.

I’m most happy when I’m achieving. Achieving what? I don’t know, when I’m achieving something. When I don’t look back at the past week and realize that all I did was browse the web. When I don’t look in the mirror and know I let myself go not because I didn’t try, but because I didn’t care. Happiness doesn’t revolve around money. It might revolve around the achievements that led me to making the money. It might revolve around the times when I created something to show the world.

Basically I’ve found that I’m in the fortunate position to control my happiness because I have an understanding of what it takes. I’m not silly enough to believe that everyone is in this fortunate position, but most of us are. Find that happiness so you can live a life you can enjoy.

Shared Resolutions

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 09:29:00 -0800

I’ve never been big on resolutions because I always thought that if you wanted to change something in your life then you should just go about and do it. Why wait for the beginning of a new year? However, I completely understand the need for us to want to change ourselves for the better and it becomes easier to mark the new year as a starting point. I also know that it is easier to achieve goals when others are involved. A team effort is much easier than an individual effort.

Honesty

Let’s be honest with ourselves. Instead of saying that you want to work on the side or start a company or build a new table, but you can’t do any of it because you don’t have the time, be honest with yourself. Either you want it enough that you will make time for it or you just don’t care that deeply about it.

I’m always saying I want to do this or that, but don’t get around to it because I obviously didn’t want it bad enough. I lie to myself thinking that I do, but I really don’t. When I really, really want to eat, I find a way to make it happen. If I’m dying to see a movie, I will look up the times it is playing and drive my ass to the theater.

When we really want something we will go to great lengths to get it. If you want it bad enough you will do it. If you don’t, then you won’t.

It starts with being honest with ourselves.

Communicate

I hear so many people talk about how bad their lives are due to other people. The great thing about humans is that many of us will correct a relationship when we understand what the other person is going through. We can’t do that though if the person doesn’t communicate with us.

Why do we hold back our thoughts and allow ourselves to be miserable just because we didn’t tell someone we don’t like that they leave food out or hate that they don’t follow up quickly enough to a client? I don’t have people in my life that make me miserable because I tell them why they are helping to make my life miserable and if things aren’t corrected they get put out.

Let’s do a better job of communicating.

Care

Or to put it in more of my own words: give a shit. Care about the house that you live in and making sure that it is clean. Give a shit about the clothes you wear and how you present yourself to the rest of the world. Care about how you communicate with the world via Twitter, Facebook, email, text messages, phone calls and face-to-face talks.

It is hard putting 100% into everything because life is easier when we take shortcuts. I’m terrible at texting, not in my ability to respond, but in my ability to actually sound like a person with an education. I’m thankful that The Lady enjoys keeping a clean house. It has helped me appreciate how much better my life is when everything around me is clean and organized. It also alerts me to the how much other people really don’t care about their surroundings when I walk into their place and it is cluttered.

You don’t need to buy expensive clothes, but you should figure out how you want others to perceive you and dress accordingly. You don’t want the world to think you are lazy and a slob, but yet you go to work in sandals, shorts, and your hair is a mess?

Care about yourself. That is the first step. Care STRONGLY about yourself. Want the best for yourself and then let that flow out to other aspects of your life. Too many people stop truly caring and just let everything happen as they will then they want to start caring when something goes wrong.

Fuck that. Start caring now. Start giving a shit about everything in your life. You deserve the best you can get and if you don’t care enough about that then you deserve what you get.

What I learned in my first week of making money

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 12:13:00 -0800

7 days ago I launched Makers { Vault } and I wanted to jot down some thoughts about it for my own sake. The site took me around 6 weeks to build. It wasn’t 6 consecutive weeks of work, but finding an hour or two here and there to get things done. What you see now is probably the 4th version of the site.

Selling

Up until this point the only ways that I had been making money on the web were consulting and advertising. Honestly, I’m not a fan of either.

This was my first real foray in actually selling goods to people. I’ve always hated the term salesman and when people ask me why I don’t go into sales I think it is because I have a negative connotation of it. I feel as though you have to be a pretty damn good liar to sell, but I know that isn’t completely true (for some). I just can’t get over saying all my thoughts on a product or service that I’m trying to sell. If I had to sell web hosting and you came to me with your situation, I would evaluate it and if I don’t find it a good fit for the product I’m pushing, then I’m going to tell you. That means I lose money and the company loses money. Of course you might be thinking that also means I’ve gained someone that now trusts my opinion. Opinions don’t always make money though.

So when it came down to Makers { Vault } I knew that I would only feature products that I myself get value out of. In the short term this means it is much harder to make money because I can’t find a ton of products that I want to promote. I could definitely make more money by selling 100 Photoshop Christmas textures, but I would have no use for such things so I wouldn’t even know how to present them.

Copy

Which brings up my next point: sales copy. Over the years I’ve read books and articles on how best to present a product. While I have taken some of the advice and dumped the rest, I’ve found it easier for me to just put into sensible words what I am thinking. That is why you don’t see “50% off!” or other sales cliches plastered around the site. I write the sales copy as if I’m hanging out with you in a bar. If you like what I’m saying, you will buy and if you don’t, hopefully the copy was interesting enough to entice you to come back tomorrow.

I’m sure the copy could be more streamlined and effective, but I need to have a larger sample size and more data before I dive into changing things up. At the very least I know that what I’m writing now is establishing the brand for the site in the future. Rather nail that down than having to try and clean up the brand down the road due to me sounding like a machine pushing icons.

I let people know what they will get out of the resource and they can take it from there.

Partnerships

The makers behind these resources put a lot of effort into them and they are trusting me to do a decent job in representing them. Respect. Respect. Respect.

Time

Value your time. I have a full-time job, a wonderful lady, and a cute dog. All of them want my time and they all deserve my time. Sites don’t make themselves though, but because I kept things small and not trying to implement every feature under the sun at the beginning, I was able to find a balance that I’m happy with. Expect to lose a little bit of sleep, but losing too much means backward progress.

With the Lady it was important that we had a conversation about my goals for the site and what resources were needed on my end to get things done. We’ve established a routine where we spend enough time together where both of us are happy and I still have time to code and not read Reddit/HackerNews.

Make Money

Making money on day 1 changes your whole approach when it comes to a project. Before when I would start a new community, project, or site, I would simply think about all the great features in the future that I would add where I could make money. For the time being I just needed to focus on building a community or so I thought.

Now that the site brings in money it makes it easier to justify to myself and the Lady the time spent working on it. If you are looking for approval and fame, by all means do everything for free, but if you want to be able to do some fun stuff while making money then make money from the beginning.

I’m Rich

At least that is the general perception people have shared with me. Apparently when you start a site that charges money, people think you are making it hand over fist. I’m not, but it goes to show how few people are quick to charge people. The thought of asking someone else to take the time to whip out their credit card to buy something you’re offering is a huge mental wall that not everyone can climb over.

I charge money because I think I can provide a service that people will value. I’m not rich because of it, but I wouldn’t have the opportunity to get rich if I didn’t take that step.

Marketing

People don’t flock to your site, but they also don’t want to be bugged out by your constant marketing. I probably undermarket the site considerably, but I know I hate being bugged incessantly by people talking about their companies. However, I also know the quiet companies aren’t the ones usually making money.

I’m sure after a couple more weeks I’ll have a bit more perspective on what I could’ve done better this first week and what needs to improve, but for now these are the thoughts that I wanted to get out.

jwphillips: via I’ll read anything Ogilvy says and nod...

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 14:48:09 -0800

jwphillips:

via

I’ll read anything Ogilvy says and nod my head approvingly.

"This is where I learned my second key lesson: Sell only things you’d want to buy for yourself."

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 14:44:44 -0800

“This is where I learned my second key lesson: Sell only things you’d want to buy for yourself.”

- Jason Fried

"Most people with a big idea, great talent and/or something to say don’t get lucky at first. Or..."

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 13:07:25 -0800

“Most people with a big idea, great talent and/or something to say don’t get lucky at first. Or second. Or even third. It’s so easy to conclude that if you’re not lucky, you’re not good. So persistence becomes an essential element of good, because without persistence, you never get a chance to get lucky.”

- Seth Godin

Write like you sound

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 07:00:33 -0800

That always seems to be the advice they give you when you are writing. Don’t attempt to sound any other way than yourself, but unfortunately the mode of thinking between writing and speaking is different, at least for me. When I speak I don’t recall have any thoughts, the words just pump out. When I speak it is more instinctive so when I say “shit!”, it comes out because that is what I’m feeling at the moment. When I am writing I am much more conscious of my thoughts and because of this I look over every word wondering how stupid I sound. The more I wonder, the more stupid I sound and therefore I start to toss in words that I would never say aloud.

Do you really believe that I say “therefore” when I’m talking to someone? If you have ever had a conversation with me think about it for a second. There is just no chance in hell that word ever came out of my mouth. So does this mean I’m not being true to myself or the people that read my words? I don’t think so, it just means that the two modes of communication differ slightly. What is more important is that you still get my personality in both. That is why in every product description on Makers { Vault } there is a dose of humor. I could try my best to write ‘businessspeak’ that you might see on other sites, but I think it would come off worse because that isn’t how I really talk or even think.

So instead of saying “write like you sound”, I’m going to go with “write with your personality”, because no matter what the context, your personality should always shine through. In my case, for better or worse.

Do things. Tell people.

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 07:00:00 -0800

Carl Lange nailed it when he said this. Too much watching and consuming and not enough doing. If you are reading this then you are a smart person and have some creativity in you. You deserve to be doing things, creating things. Why don’t you? If you think about it there isn’t much holding us back? A long time ago you could say knowledge was holding you back, but with the Internet that is just silly. Some people will pipe up and say that they don’t have enough time. Time isn’t something you steal, time is something you create. Make time.

Do things. Tell people.

Once you have that figured out and you start to make and do things, then you need to tell people. This can be the hard part depending on your personality because some people are cocky enough to believe that everything they create is worthy of sharing and there are others who feel that nothing they do is worth sharing. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. If you believe you have created something wonderful because you put the time in then share it. If you believe you should share something because it will make you famous or rich and little effort was put into it, then don’t expect much.

For the past two years everything that I’ve created has been for my employers. For me that was actually a good thing because it gave me perspective. It allowed me to gain some perspective and see the things that I had been missing over the years. Now I’m ready to start producing a little bit more for myself and I want to share it with you.

Do things. Tell people.

I have these bits of motivation from time to time and because I’m an “idea” guy (I hear your groans…stop it) there is rarely a time where I just focus on one thing. You need to focus on one thing for a specific amount of time though to make it great. However, I found that I can pour my focus onto one thing for a bit of time and to step back from it for a second I can think about the other idea. One idea will always have priority though. So when I’m focusing on Makers { Vault } and I need to step back to refresh my perspective on it, I think about Drawar, but never too long where it becomes my primary focus. Just enough so that my subconscious can go to work on M { V }.

Today Makers { Vault } opens its doors. I’m nervous because what if nobody shows up to buy what’s inside? That is the fear of telling people. Once you promote it and nothing happens, what then? You learn, tweak, do, and then tell people some more.

Maybe if you know you are going to tell people you will put a little more effort in whatever you are doing. The sign of great work is that you are willing to put your name on it. Today I’m putting my name on Makers { Vault } and who knows what I’ll put my name on tomorrow.

Do things. Tell people.

I believe I talked about this before.

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 22:28:18 -0800

I believe I talked about this before.

wordboner: honest Amen.

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 22:19:46 -0800

wordboner:

honest

Amen.

industrialist: Sauvignon Blanc Bottle Warning This is...

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 22:00:04 -0800

industrialist:

Sauvignon Blanc Bottle Warning

This is brilliant.

Every damn day.

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 14:39:43 -0800

Every damn day.

"We need to spend less time looking to others for interesting things, and start spending more time..."

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 14:38:59 -0800

“We need to spend less time looking to others for interesting things, and start spending more time doing the things that make us interesting.”

- Able Parris, Focus Means Ignoring (via rianvdm)

And today some old person realizes they are starting their week...

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 08:02:15 -0800

And today some old person realizes they are starting their week by leaving their glasses on the bus bench.

My reservations about The Aquaponics Garden

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 16:01:11 -0800

I initially wrote a long-winded article about why The Aquaponics Garden is bad for fish, but you don’t need to completely understand fishkeeping to see why this system sucks for fish. Instead, let me just break it down into a list.

Don’t have to change the water? Could you imagine taking a shit everyday in your house and having to wait around for weeks until it fully decomposes? Poop doesn’t magically disappear and with no plants in the soil to use it, you are going to have to clean out not just the water, but the tank itself if you want to keep a healthy fish.
1” of fish per gallon? That rule was created a long time ago because people thought it was cool to toss 45 fish into a 10 gallon tank. If this garden is 3 gallons that doesn’t mean you should stick a 3” fish in there. You know how uncomfortable that is to move around in? Plus all your shit and waste is just sitting in there with you. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? Sure you can keep a betta in a 3 gallon (I prefer to tell people min. 5 gallon), but beyond that your options are extremely limited.

Most fish like to swim around and they need room to do that. A lot of the fish we like to buy in groups (shoals/schools) like Tetras really require a minimum of 6 in their group to really feel comfortable. If they aren’t comfortable they get stressed. Do you know what happens to a stressed fish? Dead fish. You aren’t fitting 6 fish in a 3 gallon tank. So again, you are back to having a Betta.

You also want to know what happens to a fish when it is in a smaller container than it is supposed to be in? Its growth is stunted. Imagine thinking that you are going to grow up to be six feet tall when you are 10 years old, only to find out the closet that they kept you didn’t let you grow past four feet?
Back to waste. A big problem with keeping fish is that you always think they are hungry and believe that they can eat more than they can. A Betta’s stomach is the size of its eyeball. Not much food is going in there and yet people are guaranteed to overfeed. That food goes uneaten and sinks to the bottom where it produces…more waste. There is a limit to how much waste these plants are going to use up and without water changes the ammonia levels are going to get so high you are going to have a dead fish. That isn’t cool.
Unless you have a good amount of plants on constant reserve to grow, what happens when you don’t have enough plants to handle the waste? I’m not even sure without the proper bacteria in the tank that the plants can work fast enough to take care of the waste. Dead fish.
Where does the water heater go? Tropical fish like warmer temperatures (72-82F) and that means a lot of places will have water that gets really cold. Know what happens when the water gets too cold? Dead fish.
Fish have personalities and like to explore. Just because you see a fish in a small cup at the pet store doesn’t mean that is what the fish wants to live in. The Aquaponics Garden looks boring as shit to live in.

I just don’t see this ending well for a lot of people. I do see a lot of unhappy and dead fish. Again, I love the idea of finding fun ways to grow your own food, but I don’t like the idea of doing it at the expense of another living creature’s health.